There’s so much craziness going on with politics and terrorists and judges and state budgets, it’s depressing. Doesn’t make me feel super patriotic, to be honest. And it seems like a lot of people feel that way. But, like anything else, if we’re only focusing on the bad, we’re missing a lot.

We have so much to be thankful for! We have so many freedoms that others in the world do not, and it has been a long rough road to achieve that. Hannah asked what freedom is, and the best way I could come up to explain it was “It means we get to make a lot of choices.”

One of the freedoms we do NOT have in Johnson County is setting off fireworks, so we headed west. On July 3rd, we had a combined celebration of Father’s Day and the 4th of July at my parents’ house. Lots of food, fun, and fireworks.

Our neighborhood puts on an annual bike parade and cookout for the 4th, so on Monday we hung out with our pretty great neighbors. The girls had fun decorating the bike and wagon.

Yes, Violet is wearing a Snow White dress. She wanted to ride her tricycle in the bike parade, but her legs can only go about 2 mph with a max distance of two blocks. Total distance for the day was going to be over a mile. So we convinced her to ride in the wagon by telling her it was like a princess float in the Disney parade. Of course then she insisted on wearing a princess dress. No problem. Independence and all that. (btw, she was not the only one at the event in a princess dress)

We illegally brought smoke bombs and sparklers across county lines for a little bit of driveway fun after an all-American dinner of BBQ chicken, potato salad, and apple pie.

The weather was amazing both days, so we enjoyed the extra time outside in the “coolness” and very few bugs. A wonderful weekend to celebrate family time, fun time, our great country, and our great neighborhood!

  
Six and a half years – my age as a mother. I was once cradling a teeny Hannah in the NICU, and the future seemed so big and far away. Now I’ve got an elementary student, a preschooler, and a toddler. I’ve done the baby thing three times and survived, and now I’ve earned some perspective on parenting that comes with three little people. And it has come in the form of paradoxes. 

Children are more different than you think

We’ve gotten a few comments about “three girls, all the same,” but this is far from the truth. Sure, they all like to play with baby dolls, but their personalities and preferences, communication and energy levels, strengths and weaknesses are all different. 

I think this is fun! Sure, it keeps us on our toes and tweaking parenting techniques for each kid. But it is a joy to see each one’s gifts and talents develop. With each addition, it is clear that each one has a special place in our family. 

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14

Children are more alike than you think

When you have one child, it’s hard to picture anything different. And with little to no other experience, it seems easy to tell yourself that your child is so special. Your child is extra sensitive, or your child is so smart, or your child is the most amazing artist, and all these things must mean your child deserves special treatment by the rest of the world. 

While each child has unique gifts, there is actually very little reason that your child should be treated more specially than another kid. Because children are really more alike than different, and they are far more adaptable and resilient than they are often given credit for. 

It’s not that big of a deal

Failure, discomfort, sadness, disappointment, inconvenience. Nobody is a fan. And with our first child, we were under some impression that life could somehow be manipulated so that she wouldn’t have to experience them. But that’s not life. And with multiple children, you would work yourself into a helicoptering frenzy trying to maintain the bubble you feel is necessary. 

Equipping children from a young age to deal with these things means they’re not that big of a deal. Obviously, this is done in an age-appropriate way, but a realistic life experience helps even small children learn it’s not a big deal. Failure does not have to cripple you, disappointment does not have to consume you, inconvenience is not the end of the world. 

This also applies to letting go of the ideal. Maybe you can’t afford all organic food, maybe you can’t find a preschool that meets everything on your list, maybe the housework is never caught up, (maybe you want to finish blog posts instead of accidentally emailing drafts to everyone), maybe it’s not that big of a deal. 

It really is a big deal

Parenting with a vision – raising independent, responsible adults – is a big deal. While parents are focused on the next milestone and developmental stage, there should really be more focus on the big deal of the big picture. This is tough as life with littles requires so much in the moment as you’re meeting needs and sometimes just want to get through the day. 

But the little decisions affect this. Equipping or enabling? Now, with one in elementary school, I’m starting to observe the impact of enabling that I don’t think is as evident at younger ages. And as my dad would say, “Smart people learn from their mistakes, and wise people learn from others’ mistakes.” 

Viewing children as little people who will turn into big people is a big deal, and that perspective was much harder when I had one child. 

~~~

There are a lot of parenting books and arguments about methods and blogs of opinions (hahaha) but these are the things I know for sure. With each child and each week, I am learning! I don’t know it all, but almost seven years into it I know more than I did at one year or three years or five. And that knowledge has come through much failure and some success. I’ve figured out who I am as a mom, and I have a vision for my kids.

I realized I have not followed through on a deal that was made two years ago. Please refer to the following screen shot for the details of this agreement.

A long time ago, in a city far, far away… My friend Meghan had three kids and realized the cost of a babysitter was getting a little crazy. So she asked me about doing a date night swap. One night a week, after the kids were in bed, we switched off sitting in each other’s houses while the other couple went on a date.

This was a great idea! Brett and I have never had regular date nights because a sitter just isn’t in the budget. This was a good solution, and it worked out well until pregnancy exhaustion caught up with me, and I could barely make it past 8:30. 

One night when Meghan was on her date, she sent me the pie text. What was I supposed to say? And she did indeed bring me pie. Key lime pie from one of our favorite Austin restaurants. Amazing.

So I write about this to be good on our deal. And I want to share the date night swap idea for anyone else looking for babysitter options. 

This is our first summer as a school-age family, so we’re taking advantage of the extra time together. It’s so much fun to do things with all three girls and not feel like anyone is getting left out. Inspired by my more active friends, I created a summer bucket list.

Often I have ideas like “It would be fun to do that sometime…” then I promptly forget whatever it was and continue with my rut routine. This way, we’ve got some visual reminders for the summer. Some are big outings, some are small summer joys. I’ll keep you posted on our bucket list adventures.

Here are some links for some of the fun things on our list:

Moon Marble

Kansas City Zoo

Fritz’s

Deanna Rose Children’s Farmstead

Union Station

Summer is here, bring it on!

Hannah started begging for a bicycle when she was two years old. We even dragged her out of REI at one point as she was screaming, “I want a bike! I want a bike!” Not long after, we got her a Strider balance bike, and she was absolutely delighted.

Balance bikes do not have pedals, and the idea is that very young children can propel themselves with their feet and then gradually develop balance as they grow in confidence. Then they could skip training wheels later and go straight to a regular bicycle. We had many great years with Hannah on the balance bike, lots of miles on trails with friends, but she never seemed to balance much.

After three years with the Strider, she had completely outgrown it, so we got her a small bike with training wheels. She rode this for a couple months then was begging for us to take her training wheels off. We didn’t as we were in no big hurry to tackle the next step.

One day, we were playing outside, and she got on a neighbor boy’s bike. A regular bike, no training wheels. As she hopped on, I was yelling, “Get off that bike! What do you think you’re doing?! Hannah, YOU CAN’T… Oh, I guess you can… Huh… Yay, Hannah! Watch out for cars!”

She didn’t fall off, she didn’t get scared, she just rode along on two wheels. I was stunned.

Looking back, I don’t know why this was so surprising. We’d given her the balance bike and taught her how to pedal. She had the skills she needed.

I’m sure this will happen again in parenting, and I don’t want to be so surprised next time. If we equip our children with the skills for a milestone, why are we stunned when they move forward with confidence to tackle it?

If we’re doing our jobs, this should happen a lot. Our kids should be equipped with responsibility, independence, creativity, compassion, self-control, and a heart for justice. These skills will enable them to take on a lot in the world, and we need to let them. Often, parents seem to either lack the vision for training their children or lack the willingness to let them practice their skills independently. So I’m moving forward with more intentionality and a keener eye for signs of readiness.

Take off the training wheels! Let them develop balance! And then cheer for the successes and support them through falls, it’s all part of letting go.

School starts early in Kansas! Mid-August and we’re into our new fall routine. Lots of adjustments this year as Hannah started kindergarten, and Violet started a “parents’ day out” program on her own. Kindergarten is every morning, and PDO is one day a week. I took pictures and did some brief interviews to commemorate the start of the school year.

Hannah, class of 2028

• favorite book: The Octonauts
• this year I want to learn: how bees get nectar from flowers
• when I grow up, I want to be: a medic

Violet, class of 2031

• favorite book: Pete the Cat and His Four Groovy Buttons
• this year I want to learn: about Jesus
• when I grow up, I want to be: a pirate

We walk Hannah back and forth to school, only about ten minutes away, and the stroller ride can be quite relaxing for the younger two.