Due

Today was my due date. Last spring, we lost a baby at only six weeks along. It was an incredibly painful experience, physically and emotionally, and it’s still a little surreal that it happened at all.

I had been so excited when we found out the due date – right by Thanksgiving, what a symbol of all we had to be thankful for. But here’s the day, and there’s no baby.

In everything, give thanks. I Thes. 5:18

Give thanks? No, thanks.

Of course, I’m incredibly thankful for Hannah and so many other things. But I’m pretty sure there’s an asterisk in my Bible that says, “Give thanks* … *except in the hard stuff, or the stuff that makes you sad, or the things you don’t understand.”

Oh wait, there’s no asterisk, no escape clause.

I guess I could start by being thankful for the gift of life, however short it might be. And I’m thankful for the many amazing friends who said, “I’ve been there. It’s awful, but you’ll get through it.” And those who prayed, hugged, shed tears and sent flowers. I was so encouraged by their kindness and comforted by their shared grief for the loss of a life.

So there’s no new baby this Thanksgiving, but there is hope. There is an increased thankfulness for our support system, and a greater appreciation for each life created. And with hope and thanks we move forward.

There’s a song by Aaron Schust that has been encouraging lately: My Hope is in You.

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Due

  1. Diana, I am so sorry. There’s so much I wish I could say on this little post…but most of all, I’m so thankful that you wrote this. I’m thankful that you are real and willing to share your story with others. So many women feel completely alone because no one is willing to be open about what is really going on in their life. I’m so thankful for you and the example you are.

  2. Praying for you, Diana! I know how difficult it is to think about anything but the loss on days like the due date. Thankfully, God is faithful to get us through even the most painful days. He is enough. May He fill you with peace.

  3. I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts & prayers during this difficult time. We lost our first baby to miscarriage and it was so very sad. One of my favorite quotes from a card at the time was,

    “We will always treasure the angel who was in our midst, if only for a little while.”

    I know that it is comforting that your child is already enjoying heavenly bliss, but I also know that that does not take away the ache to hold this child in your arms. I pray that God will give you comfort and peace. One thing that gave me a lot of comfort was choosing a name for the baby. Our first baby is Hope. We lost our second baby to an ectopic pregnancy before the girls were born. We named him Noah. I will ask our little saints to find your baby in heaven and show her around! Please let me know if there is anything I might do to help.
    Love, Jenny

  4. Ah Diana, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I found it helpful to make a plaque with baby’s name on it and to do something for a child on the day of his/her “birth”. What a joy it will be for you and your child to meet one day in heaven!

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