Shopping with a toddler is a strategic game. I have to play offense and defense. Most common is defense – putting shoes back on, saying no, putting items back on the shelves, saying no, blocking from grabbing more items. Most of the offense is distraction techniques to keep a good mood going – look at the baby, there’s a dog on that package, let’s find the diapers.

After dropping Hannah off at preschool, I swung by Target for a few items. My time of freedom! Quiet shopping!

I was lonely.

I missed my little helper pointing out every animal on every package we passed. I missed her excitement about every baby we’d see (and there were a lot). I even kind of missed putting her shoes back on after she rips them off at the very sight of the shoe section saying “I on! I try!” I missed asking, “What do we need at the store?” to which she always replies, “I need applesauce.”

I was even actually buying applesauce. She would have been so happy.

So if I really need something urgently, I’ll continue to make quick trips to the store while she’s at school, but I think I like our usual team-shopping better.

This story starts two years ago. We used to have neighbors next door who had two elementary-aged daughters. They were nice neighbors and would come feed our cat when we were on vacation. After 20 years in that house, they decided to “move up” to a nicer neighborhood and sold the house (to the “frat boys” as we refer to them”).

Anyway, as we were on our way to the hospital the day Hannah was born, we were able to share the exciting news with them as they loaded up their last few belongings and were leaving for good. We thought that was the last time we’d see them.

When Hannah was a few weeks old, I got a random knock on my door. There was Brian our old neighbor holding a tricycle. They had been going through stuff at the new house and decided the girls had outgrown it. Their sweet thought was to bring it for our family to enjoy in the future.

Recently, we rediscovered it in the shed and thought Hannah might be big enough to have some some fun with it. It was a family project: Daddy aired up the tires, Hannah cleaned it off and Mommy took pictures.

Then she was on her way. Her feet are a little too short to hit the pedals, so she needed some help to get around.

I guess this is her serious biker face. After some seat adjustment…

… Hannah was able to touch the ground with her feet and propel herself that way. And you can probably tell from the pictures which dog likes to stay close to her.

It was a pleasant afternoon, and she spent a long time maneuvering this thing through the bumpy backyard.

What a fun hand-me-down from a sweet family.

It seems like a word being thrown around a lot in mommy circles is “balance.” Countless times, I’ve heard fellow mothers talking about how much better life would be if they could just find some balance.

Do I have balance? Should I be yearning for it along with everyone else? Let’s look at a recent day in the stay-at-home life of yours truly.

My Tuesday:

• get up and shower while the super amazing Brett gets Hannah up and fed (he does this every day!)
• play, explain that it’s not Halloween any more
• grocery shop
• put groceries away (team effort)
• make lunch and eat
• clean up can of Coke Hannah spilled on the floor
• Hannah naps – I prep for a Bible study I’m leading, upload photos, write a blog post, change my blog theme, write emails
• snack, explain again that Halloween is all done, video chat with Brett
• play, change the dolls’ clothes ten times
• unload everything from back of car so the dog can ride
• take Bingley to vet, entertain toddler in small room for 45 minutes
• quick playdate (with Bingley) at Meghan and Cody’s house
• Hannah eats dinner – I cook for Brett and myself
• play
• Brett comes home!! (then he does bath and bedtime while I run out to see Twilight in the theater)

And squeeze potty training in there as well. This is not necessarily an average day, obviously I don’t go grocery shopping or go to the vet every day, but it certainly was a full day.

Is this balance? What the heck is balance anyway? When I hear most people say, “I just need more balance.” I feel like what they’re really saying is, “I want to do everything and put my kids in every activity possible, but that’s not working. Instead of saying ‘no’ to activities once in a while, I’d rather just gripe about how my life is out of balance.”

The definition of this elusive balance seems to be that we can all do whatever we want and not feel busy or stressed. Sorry, ladies, it ain’t gonna happen.

At my MOPS group a couple weeks ago, the women’s director Marilyn talked about balance and encouraged the better perspective of “margins.” You can schedule your time and have some activities, but you leave yourself margins for rest and flexibility. On this Tuesday I outlined above, I started the day with eating, sleeping and the grocery store on the schedule. Then I had to add the vet – no problem since my afternoon was open. And when Meghan invited us to an impromptu popcorn party, we were able to bring Bingley (still in the car from the vet) and have some fun friend time.

So I basically started the day with no scheduled activities (gasp!), but what happened – I was productive, I spent quality time with my daughter, she had quality time with her Daddy, everyone had home-cooked meals, I had some Bible time, Bingley got some medicine, we hung out with sweet friends and I had some “me” time (with Bella and Edward). That actually seems pretty “balanced” to me.

This buzzword of balance needs to go, at least with the popular definition. I don’t know who started this idea of Supermoms using their magical powers to somehow fully commit to every possible activity. Instead, families need to take some stuff off the schedule and let the margins fill in with quality time, spontaneous fun and meeting needs that come up.

My lifestyle is a gift; I want to enjoy this time and spend it helping my family and blessing others, not running around in a perpetual state of stress while bemoaning my lack of balance. I’m sticking with my margins!

My cousin Jenny and her family who live in Austin are faithful supporters of pro-life activities. For the last several years, they have invited us to join their table at the annual Texas Alliance for Life dinner and program. This year, everything worked out and we were able to finally go!

We finally found a babysitter we LOVE, so we left Hannah in her capable hands, dressed up and hit the town. The dinner was at the downtown Hilton, very nice. We were surprised how many people were there – almost 1500! We enjoyed meeting the others at the table, and the basil butter for the rolls was seriously tasty.

There were many politicians there who all got introduced by name (with a special note if they are up for re-election). I was kind of interested in possibly seeing Rick Perry, but apparently he was off doing a debate or something.

The speaker for the event was Lila Rose who is only 23 and started Live Action, a pro-life group geared toward teens and college students. As she said, with a growing national interest in social justice and human rights, more teens are identifying themselves as pro-life because they want to protect and speak out for the most vulnerable humans, the voiceless unborn. Lila Rose was introduced by Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood director who became pro-life after watching an abortion on an ultrasound and having no doubt that was a baby fighting for its life.

Texas was one of the first states to de-fund Planned Parenthood by prioritizing funding for groups that offer a wider range of medical services such as community health centers. They also announced a pro-life, pro-adoption license plate that will be released in November – you’ll be seeing one on my car, for sure!

The pro-life “movement” is close to my heart because I am in a family of adoptees. My husband and my daughter, as unplanned pregnancies, would have been labeled by many as inconvenient, unwanted and disposable. I am thankful each day that their courageous birthmothers opted against what is culturally acceptable and chose life for the babies that are now my family.

I have an ongoing struggle with my not-so-green thumb. But in the interest of livening up our front porch, I got a mum and figured I’d enlist Hannah to help water, potentially increasing its chance at survival.

Planting the flower was a fun morning activity.

First, make room in the pot

It's fun to dig in the dirt

Then, put the flower in

Don't forget to water