Dear Hannah,

It was so special to look back on your fourth year that I wanted to take some time to talk about your fifth year. You’re FIVE. That seems so much bigger than four.

Last year, I said I thought it would be a big year with some big stuff. As I was writing that, we were praying about a big move and another baby. This year, we have a yes for both, and I love how you are processing both with such maturity. You are so excited about the new baby, and you ask so many questions and want to give her hugs and kisses. You understand the move is both exciting and sad.

I want to make sure that in the many transitions of the next year that we still have special time together. For you, this usually involves some kind of snack.

Ice cream break at Costco.

Your relationship with Violet is very different this year. You play together – sometimes nicely, sometimes not; she follows you around and repeats what you say. You are so protective of her, and you completely freak out when she gets hurt. And you are a very bossy big sister.

A bossy big sister who struggles to control her tongue… This sounds so familiar… ME. Sigh.

I cannot even imagine what the next year holds, so many changes ahead. But I know you’ll be giggling and interrogating everyone we meet and making PBJs for Violet and thinking about so many things.

Happy birthday, my five-year-old!

To update quickly… We’re moving to Kansas City! We’ve been praying about this move for over a year, and to see it happening is a little surreal. Right now we’re in the rough transition phase of moving, some things ending, and new things beginning.

One thing that just started is Brett’s new job. He is currently in Kansas City jumping in as the IT guy at a tech startup. It’s been an exciting week for him so far. I’m on the other end making the new budget, not quite as exciting. It’s gotten me thinking about jobs and money and priorities.

I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and we are so thankful that Brett has been given jobs that enable me to maintain that position. So we live on one income which involves making a budget, making priorities and sometimes saying “no” to ourselves and our kids.

Saying “no” isn’t very popular and is sometimes misunderstood. As we’re creating a new budget and revisiting some items, it’s an opportunity to reevaluate some of our priorities. When it comes to money, different families choose to put it in different places.

For example, we haven’t had cable TV in four years, and we haven’t missed it at all. For some families, this is a big deal, and that’s fine for them, but we’d rather spend our money on other things. This doesn’t mean we have some kind of financial hardship, it just means we have different priorities for allocating our money, though this gets misunderstood.

I’ll use my friend Meghan as an example (with her permission). Meghan does not own a Crock Pot. Yes, I couldn’t believe it, either. Somehow she creates delicious, healthy, home cooked meals for her family without a Crock Pot. This seems unbelievable, I mean, I have TWO. So I could get concerned, “Poor Meghan, she can’t afford a slow cooker. She must be experiencing financial struggles since she isn’t spending her money the same way I would.”

In reality, Meghan doesn’t want a Crock Pot. She wants to be minimal with her kitchen appliances and is doing just fine without one.

This is a small and maybe silly example, but sometimes “no’s” are preferential and not a sign of right and wrong or rich and poor. The things we spend our money on may be different than you or someone else, but for us it’s largely based on personal priorities.

Sometimes “no” isn’t a sign of money trouble, it’s a sign of wise budgeting and avoiding money trouble. The country is in a debt crisis because of people refusing to make financial priorities and say “no” once in a while.

We have a new budget in Kansas City. Mostly the same, still no cable and no budget to replace our furniture and wardrobes every two years, but we don’t care. We’re excited to add that we’re sponsoring a preschool student in the Dominican Republic and being more intentional about saving for family trips. And someday we’d love to put a deck on the house.

So that’s what we do with one income. Some moms make money off their blogs, but clearly I don’t have the time or drive to make that happen, haha. ;) Since this is the first post in three months? I’ll try to be more regular as we have many changes in the next few months.

And posts without pictures are boring, right? I tried to find a picture that related to money and the new house… So here’s a peek into our future kitchen with me writing a big check. :)

Four and a half months of training led up to my race last Sunday, the Daisy 5K, the longest-running race in Austin. I’ve had an amazing season with the running group, and there is no way I would have made it without them.

Before the race, not sweaty.

It was exciting to register for the race and get my number bib! Felt like a real runner. I’ve been to lots of races as the cross country manager in college, but this was my first when I was the one running. Eeeeek!
Luckily, I had a cheerleader who was almost as excited as I was.

We lined up at the start. There were about 120 runners, so it wasn’t an overwhelming mass. Then we were off!

If you’re not familiar with race distances, a 5K is 3.1 miles. For me, that’s a long ways. My goal was pretty much to just finish, preferably under 40 minutes. It felt really long because the runners seemed to separate a lot, and I was running most of the course with no one very near me.

When I came around the last bend, I was so tired. But my coaches came alongside me and pumped me up for the final stretch. I love this picture because you can see them next to me, encouraging me to the end!

I wasn’t sure I’d want to do another race once I’d met my goal of completing this one, but since I was 20 seconds over my goal of 40 minutes, I’ve definitely had a sense of self-competition and wanting to beat my time. As it is, I really am pretty proud of myself – I ran for 40 minutes!

I’m super thankful for my coaches Christy and Li who always believed in me (even though that sounds super sappy) and pushed the stroller in practice a lot of the time.

And my family cheer team.

Violet is wearing a special shirt featuring my “running motto” that Christy gave to me as a prize for completing the most weekly nutritional challenges. Violet definitely did “run happy”, or at least ride in the stroller happy.

So cute!

After the race, there were the less glamorous parts of being a “mom on the run.” Yep, diaper changes in the back of the van.

I could do a whole post on what I learned from running, but at the rate I get around to blogging any more, I should probably just summarize here, haha. Mostly, the experience reminded me that I can do hard things, and if I stick with them I get better. And hard things are easier when you have great people to work with.

We used the race in our announcement…

Next baby coming in December! So my next 5K will wait for a while, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be out there again. All the hard training runs, everything was worth it for the feeling I got when I finished that race.

Violet is now 17 months old. We have been doing physical therapy for four weeks, and she is getting used to it. She likes the fun toys they have, but she throws a fit when they (or we) make her do any “work.” I’ve started bringing special treats for rewards which improves her motivation greatly. Despite her objections, she is showing good improvement and has started pulling up onto her knees and onto her feet. She is much closer to crawling and definitely shows that she knows what to do, it’s just a matter of motivating her to try it more.

We can see her progress as she plays, and I’ve even seen her make her dolls do her physical therapy exercises. She is also going through a verbal explosion. It is developmentally typical for this age to be saying 2-3 new words per week. Violet is saying 2-3 new words per day. As in saying them by herself in “conversation,” not just repeating them after us. I was curious about her vocabulary, so I made a list, roughly alphabetized.

Apple
All gone
All done
Baby
Back
Ball
Bird
Book
Bump
Bear
Bunny
Bed
Balloon
Bath
Bubble
Bowl
Brrrrr
Bow
Boat
Box
Brush
Bounce
Backpack
Blankie
Cow
Cookie
Cup
Clothes
Chicken
Cheese
Car
Daddy
Doggie
Ducky
Down
Dip
Fish
Fork
Flower
Horse
Hair
Hannah
Hat
Jacket
Juice
Kitty
Mommy
Monkey
More
Night night
Owl
Orange
Off
Outside
Pray
Plate
Please
Rock
Stool
Socks
Shoes
Spoon
Shadow
Swing
Teeth
Thank you
Up
Walk
Water bottle
Where is…

That’s around 70. By the time I post this there will probably be more.

Still only four teeth. This girl is on a funny schedule.

Hannah is excited her dance class will be doing some sort of performance. I don’t have any details, but I’m sure it will be cute. Rodeo day is coming up at preschool, so that’s another event to look forward to.

Last week, I took Hannah to her first movie at a movie theater. Everyone gave Frozen such good reviews, I thought it would be a great first-time experience. And it was!

It’s hard to take pictures in a movie theater. Especially when the littler person only wants to eat her weight in popcorn before the movie even starts. It really was good popcorn. We went to Alamo Drafthouse Cinema which has nice seats, tables and food service. So they had fresh popcorn with real butter. Mmmmm.

I’ll admit Frozen fever has hit Hannah just like every other four-yr-old girl in America, and she is often asking to listen to the songs and asking when the DVD I pre-ordered will arrive. I honestly thought it was a great movie, too, probably the best Disney movie since Beauty and the Beast. It has good songs and great messages of sister-ness, the unconditional love of family and the real meaning of true love.

So that’s what the girls have been up to!

I get dressed. Every day.

I see posts from stay-at-home moms proclaiming a frequent wardrobe of yoga pants and practically pajamas. This might come across as if I have a wardrobe of judgy-pants, but I honestly believe this is a downer for them, a bummer for their husbands, a bad example for their kids and a negative image of motherhood. I am thankful and proud to be a wife and mother, and I think it is important to express that through my appearance. It sends a positive message to my kids and the general public and honors my husband.

There are many things I could wear that would successfully fulfill the basic task of covering my body. But what I wear affects my mood and my motivation for the day. A blogger I read, Anne from The Modern Mrs. Darcy, talked about reevaluating her wardrobe choices in her post Dressing for the Ordinary Days.

I wasn’t dressed like I was ready to take on the world; I was dressed to get by. I want to do better than just get by.

There are certainly brief seasons where we may truly just be getting by, especially before or after a baby, but I don’t think this should be a habit or regular occurrence. As a mom, I often feel tired or overwhelmed, but taking the time to get dressed and put on makeup every day doesn’t make me more tired, it actually has the opposite effect.

The SAHM life offers some flexibility, and my friend Meghan pointed out the benefit of dressing for whatever the day could hold. “I like to get myself (and the kids) dressed everyday even when I know I’m not leaving the house,” she said. “It’s nice to know I’m nearly ready to go if a friend randomly calls and wants to meet up at the park.”

Ready to take on the world, not just getting by.

So for the sake of transparency, and just for fun, I got pictures of my outfits for a week. These are hardly fashion plates, they were all taken on my phone either by Brett or as selfies. Yeah, real fancy. But it ended up being a pretty accurate reflection of what I wear all the time. I didn’t style myself any differently this week, these are my normal clothes. And posing is awkward for me. So here goes… A week of mom clothes with my daily activities.

Wednesday

• Preschool drop-off and pick-up
• Physical therapy appointment for Violet
• Built a rocket ship out of a cardboard box

Outfit – shirt: LOFT, jeans: Kohls, shoes: Toms, necklace: KraftyKash

Thursday

If you are wondering if that is a classy selfie in a church bathroom, the answer is yes.

• MOPS, wearing steering team apron
• My Gym, I did “active play” with Violet while Hannah had a class

Outfit 1 – shirt: Old Navy, jeans: Target, shoes: Kohls
Outfit 2 – shirt: Sari Bari, jeans: Kohls

Friday

Did I mention posing is awkward?

• Consignment sale
• Played outside
• Hannah’s ballet class
• Got summer clothes out of the attic

Outfit – shirt: Altar’d State, cardigan: GAP, jeans: Target

Saturday

Not a normal Saturday, gone all day.

• Church women’s retreat
• Borrowed a baby when I missed mine

Outfit – shirt: LOFT, cardigan: Target, jeans: Target, necklace: Noonday Collection, boots: Steve Madden from Altar’d State, baby: Meghan’s

Sunday

I love boots.

• Church
• Cleaned out garage (put on a t-shirt and jeans for the afternoon and forgot to take a picture)

Outfit – dress: Target, bracelet: Noonday Collection

Monday

Finally nice weather so I can wear skirts again.

• Running group (in running clothes)
• Preschool pick-up
• Played outside
• Grocery store

Outfit – shirt: Target, skirt: Maurice’s, shoes: Chacos from REI

Tuesday

Clearly did not finish strong with the outfit photography, oh well.

• Adoption conference recap meeting
• Lunch with MOPS friends at Chick-fil-a
• Appointment at Hannah’s Hair Salon specializing in excessive bows (I love having girls!)

Outfit – shirt: LOFT, jeans: Target, shoes: Toms

I am not a fashionista, I like to be comfortable. Please don’t look to me for style advice, this is just to show the possibilities and advantages of wearing real clothes. Most of these outfits are not any more work to put on than an old tshirt and yoga pants. (If you’d like some inspiration and practical tips to get in the habit of getting dressed, check out From Frumps to Pumps by Sarah Mae) I don’t think it’s vain or frivolous to spend a couple minutes each day on presenting yourself well. Even if you’re only presenting yourself to your husband and your kids, they’re worth it!

And every time you look down or glance in the mirror, you’ll think, “She’s not just getting by, she’s ready to take on the world!” Or at least that mountain of laundry…

I’ve always admired runners. In college, I had several friends on the cross country team and even served as the team manager for a season. I’d never been part of an athletic team before, and I was in awe of their daily drive and discipline. They encouraged me to start running myself, but I was absolutely content writing splits and carrying water bottles. Physical challenges are not my thing.

Then I had a baby. Naturally. As in, I labored and pushed that baby out with no medicinal intervention. I felt everything, I did everything. It was hard, but I did it. I started thinking… If my body can do that hard thing, maybe it can do some other hard things. Maybe, like with natural labor, challenging myself is healthy in a lot of ways.

Running a 5K has been on my bucket list, and with my newfound openness to physical exertion, I decided to pursue the idea. Within two weeks of seriously considering it, a fellow MOPS mom posted about a running group she was starting. “Moms on the Run” is a national organization with local groups. Christy joined a group in the middle of winter when she lived in Minnesota. Crazy! With no running experience, she trained and completed a 5K in a few months. After moving to Austin, she decided to start a group down here.

This could not have been more perfect! The training schedule is designed for beginning runners. ME. I bit the bullet and signed up.

We are on Week 6 of 18, and I feel good! It is hard, so hard. But after I run, I feel so good for the rest of the day. I can breathe, I feel strong.

My sister, Kristen, came with me one of the first weeks. She pushed the stroller for me, the coaches also help me with it. Most of our weeks have been cold and windy. I feel like a crazy person going out to run when my baby is bundled up like this.

But I do it! It is honestly a surprise to myself. This morning, I was out running before the sun was up, and I thought What has happened to me? Why am I doing this?

Because when I run, I am in charge.

When I realized this, I felt a little guilty. It sounds crazy, but that’s the essence. The rest of the day, I am honestly only roughly in control of getting from point A to point B with my sweet children. At home, the best-laid plans can be squashed quickly when the baby poops on the way to the car or a certain pair of shoes is nowhere to be found. But running… It is up to me, I’m the one who can keep going or not, I’m the one who puts one foot in front of the other, I’m the one who takes full responsibility for stopping or who feels pride in a workout completed.

On May 11, I’ll be doing a 5K with my group. I’d like to run the whole thing, but right now the 3-minute running intervals we’re doing feel like forever. But I’ve got 12 weeks to go, and it turns out that I can do hard things. It’s a mental challenge as well as a physical one.

There is no way I could have kept going even for just these six weeks without the group. Christy is amazing and encouraging, as well as the assistant coach Li, and I’m thankful for their very practical help with Violet propulsion. Before starting, I mentioned to Christy that this was a lot of new physical activity for me, and I did not want to lose any weight. She remembered my comment, and about a week later, I got a sweet email from her – she had consulted with a nutritionist and provided me with some great ideas for healthy high-calorie foods. Wow!

With great coaches and a super-supportive family, I’m excited about this new adventure. I’ll keep you posted as I continue this craziness, and hopefully in a couple months I’ll have a photo of crossing the finish line of a 5K race. Can’t even believe I’m saying that.