Some days I feel like that. Except I would have the covers pulled over my head.
Parenting is hard in itself. And I’ve discovered some personality things that make it harder, especially as a stay-at-home mom. Kelly, a contributor at Keeper of the Home described it well:
Wanna know something funny? I am an extreme introvert. Do you know what that means? It means I get my energy from quiet, alone time. Lots of it. It means after being around noise and people for a few hours, I feel like I’m going to completely have a melt down… Do you think I was “cut out” for this? Patient? Ha! No, but to keep from losing it all together, I have to die daily. I have to crucify my flesh every day. It’s painful. But it’s what we’re called to do. It’s just that most of us would rather run away from the means by which He wants to use in our lives for that daily dying.
I wish I could develop more of her perspective of appreciating character development. I feel like I’m still in survival mode a lot of the time. Though it makes sense that I shouldn’t just spend my time trying to develop character in my kids, I should be intentional in growing in character myself. And I need coping strategies that don’t involve crying and hiding. ;)
I’m just thankful for each new day where I can try to do better. And though children are quick to cause frustration, they are also quick to extend grace and forgiveness. When it seems like everything is going wrong, I can look back and see I really do have a few more things figured out than I did a year ago. So there’s big-picture growth.
In the day-to-day, I have to figure out a baby who won’t sleep without nursing and a little girl who is in mental, physical and verbal perpetual motion. Like any new muscle, this introvert is stretching, sore and fragile. The strength is building, but some days the covers go over my head to hide for just a few minutes since it turns out Hannah is not very quick at hide and go seek. ;)